Alone But I Will Prevail
by PaladinDragon
Summary: Riku struggles with sleepless nights and guilt. He refuses to run away from Sora. RikuxSora Modern AU. Complete.


A/N: Excuse me while I pat myself on the back. This story is exactly 1,000 words. cx This was assigned to me by my sister. I haven't been in this fandom in years so I apologize in advance. (My only rules were it has to be bittersweet and no killing Riku this time. I think I have done it!)

Riku clenched his teeth and sighed through his nose, trying not to scream in frustration. Just thinking about HIM right now was giving him a stress induced headache. He rolled over in his bed and was smacked in the face by the sweet smell of shampoo and hints of cologne that wasn't his. He grabbed the other pillow and buried his face into it, finally allowing himself to sob.

"Idiot." He murmured. It had already been a month, and Riku was sick of crying and sick of missing him. The guilt those feelings caused was crushing.

And as he lay there, alone in bed, his mind wandered to Sora. His thoughts always found their way back to him. Moving in together was super awkward for Riku, who had a major crush on Sora from the moment they had met at the end of high school. It was nearly impossible not brush by each other in the hallway of the tiny apartment or catch a glimpse of a little too much skin. The first time they had kissed had been in that hallway.

Riku rolled over, looking out the bedroom door, he could see the exact spot. Sora's bright eyes had looked so dark they were almost black in the shadowy hallway as they both paused after their shoulders brushed for the millionth time. Riku's mouth had been open to apologize, but he closed it when he turned and the intensity of Sora's gaze hit him. He thought Sora was going to yell at him, or even punch him. Instead, Sora had stepped forward and cupped Riku's jaw, stood on his toes and pecked Riku's lips. Riku had frozen, not exactly believing what had happened. It had been the sweetest moment he had ever experienced up to that point.

But now, he didn't even know if he would ever get to kiss Sora again.

He rubbed his eyes. Glancing at his bedside clock revealed he only had two more hours in which to try and sleep. He had a full day today. Classes starting at seven a.m. and lasting through two p.m. and then work for six hours. Then he was going to see Sora. He had to. He owed him that much.

Roxas had said yesterday it looked like he hadn't slept in a month. That was about right.

Riku never fully fell asleep so he jerked out of a doze when his alarm went off. He slapped at it angrily and sat up. He missed a call from Roxas as he was in the shower but ignored the notification. Roxas, as much as Riku liked him, left a bad taste in his mouth sometimes.

In the kitchen he sipped on tap water and tried to push away the memory of the last time he had saw Sora here. How he had been teary eyed and red faced, demanding an explanation of why Riku was always out so late with a 'lab partner'. Riku could give him none that he would accept, since Sora wasn't interested in the truth. Riku had lost his temper and told him to get out and not to come back.

Riku's pride had kept him from following when Sora stormed out. He hated himself for that.

Roxas looked disappointed when Riku met him outside the door to their first class, but he didn't comment and didn't take Riku's bait for a fight. They both knew what was on Riku's mind. Roxas was good at reading Riku like that. Riku wasn't sure he liked it.

He supposed he couldn't take his mood out on his friend the whole day. When their third shared class started he turned to Roxas and smiled. Roxas grinned back and offered to come with him to visit Sora this evening. Riku's mood immediately soured and he declined like he always had. Roxas had no way of knowing their last argument had been about him.

His day ground on in a slow monotonous way, Riku feeling numb and sleepy for the most of it. As the time approached seven p.m. his boss told him to leave. His boss wasn't aware of his kindness in doing so, he wanted Riku to get some sleep. Riku knew he had stopped counting how much his mistakes was costing the restaurant. Yet another thing to feel guilty about.

The doctor was in Sora's room when he entered. A nurse smiled at him when the doctor reminded him not to give up hope yet. That Sora was young and healthy and he might wake up at any second, any day. Just give him some time to heal. Riku had to fight that urge to run. He wanted to get away from this. It hurt so much. He didn't know how to deal with pain head on like this.

He nodded and picked up Sora's hand as the doctor and the nurse left, closing the door almost all the way behind them. He stood there for a moment, refamiliarizing himself with Sora's condition and trying to brush off the guilt of what he had done to him.

The witness said she had no idea why the kid had done it. He had ran across the street directly in front of the car. The driver couldn't stop. There was no way. Riku knew Sora had been blinded with tears. Tears he had caused.

He squeezed Sora's limp hand and tried not to think about how he looked so hollow. Like he had no soul. The doctor could hope all he wanted. Riku knew better. He had already given up. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to see Sora, who had always been so full of life, hollow and broken like this. It was so overwhelming. Riku couldn't breathe.

Instead of running out the door, he pulled up a chair closer to Sora's beside and clasped his hand with both of his. He started with an apology, like always, then began to tell him about his day.


End file.
